Of Drunk Doctors and Purple Bananas
by Dr.Obsessive
Summary: It a very siily fic, maybe even crack. Amusing to those who have a strange sense of humor. It's innocent but it will be rate K for safety. 10/ Jack/ Rose friendship


Ok, so this should probably be considered a crack fic, I wrote this a while back and it's been sitting in my computer gathering dust. But I'm just so sad about the Doctor's upcoming _*muffles the word*_ that I felt I should put it up. I felt it was necessary to have a bit of silliness before the.... the... *_dramatically swoons, everyone stares*_

_*recovers*_ Anyway dont be surprised if this fic doesn't make sense, you need a special sense of crazy humor to find it funny or even begin to understand...

Oh and I almost forgot, I don't own Doctor Who or the Banana Phone Song, if I did I would.....*_blah blah everyone stopped paying attention at this point*_

* * *

Rose had always wondered what the Doctor was like drunk. If he was manic and crazy when he was sober he should be ten times more fun when plastered. But in order to do it she needed the ultimate authority on all things alcohol. So obviously she called Jack. She batted her eyelashes at the Doctor and begged him to pick up Jack and it had worked. Now they were in Rose's room devising their evil plan…

*****

"Dooooctooorrr" Jack and Rose said in unison. The Doctor knew they were planning something and he had a feeling he was about to find out what that something was. He turned to look at them, both doing their best to look innocent… like that could ever happen.

"Jack's been telling me about this wonderful pleasure planet called Dy…um Dyuh…"

"Dionosonianus" Jack corrected.

"Right… that place. Anyway can you take us?" She pleaded batting her eyelashes and poking her tongue out.

The Doctor could see where this was headed but decided to play along.

"Of course! Why did we go their before they have tons of great stuff…like purple bananas!!! Oh yes did I ever mention they purple bananas 'cause they do and they are brilliant…"

Jack and Rose watched the Doctor run around the consol ranting about purple bananas and grinned at each other knowing they had succeeded in tricking him.

*****

They arrived on the pleasure planet and distracted the Doctor by riding on the various rides and (of course) looking at the purple bananas. The Doctor even took one and put it in his pocket for later. They decided to go have lunch at Jacks favorite restaurant. It was all according to plan as Jacks favorite restaurant contained the tastiest, most alcoholic drinks known in the 51st century. It was a fantastic place to get unsuspecting aliens (in this case the Doctor) drunk and Jack had used this knowledge to his advantage. Well known there, Jack made sure the waitress knew to give Rose and Jack watered down versions of the special which Doctor was going to get full force. The drink although very alcoholic tasted just like a strawberry banana smoothie and was a sure fire way to get the Doctor hammered. Once they were seated the waitress was VERY helpful in serving them drinks, making sure everyone had to try the special.

The Doctor knew about the drinks and played along. If they were going to all this trouble to get him drunk well then they should have a taste of the Oncoming Storm. Besides, it was BANANA flavored and he couldn't refuse bananas…

Rose and jack watched as the Doctor sucked down drink after drink barely touching his food. They were starting think he would never get drunk and were about to leave when the Doctor got a crazy look in his eyes. All of the sudden he jumped on the table (no one was concerned, they had seen much worse before) and said "I would like to dedicate this song to my sexy companions." Then he burst out singing:

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring_

_Banana phone_

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring_

_Banana phone_

_I've got this feeling, so appealing,_

_for us to get together and sing. Sing!_

At this point the other customers who had the special started singing along.

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone_

_Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding donana phone_

_It grows in bunches, I've got my hunches,_

_It's the best! Beats the rest!_

_Cellular, modular, interactivodular!_

He took out the purple banana and proceeded to use it as both a phone and a microphone.

Jack and Rose looked at each other and burst out laughing. The Doctor jumped of the table and ran around the room singing before stopping and grabbing both Rose and Jack and dancing a complicated dance that the other two couldn't keep up with. He left them quickly and jumped back on the table to do his finale.

_Banana phone, ring ring ring!_

_(It's a phone with a peel!)_

_Banana phone, ring ring ring!_

_(Now you can have your phone and eat it too!)_

_Banana phone, ring ring ring!_

_(This song drives me bananas!)_

_Banana phone, ring ring ring!_

_Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop-doop-doop!_

He then collapsed and Rose and Jack had to catch him as he fell off the table. The dragged him back to the Tardis (whilst he kept muttering "bananas are good, Rose") and put him in his bed.

Jack and Rose went to bed singing Banana Phone, happy that their plan had worked. They even considered doing it again because the Doctor was even funnier drunk. What they didn't relies was that the next morning they were going to have a very grumpy, whiney Time lord on their hands because you can't have your purple banana and eat it too!

The END!!!

* * *

Hehe you can't have your purple banana and eat it too, get it, get it? No? Oh well it was worth a shot, review if you found it amusing, heck review if you thought it was idiotic, I've never gotten a flame before (it's not a testament to my writing, it's a testament to how lazy we are all that we don't feel like signing in to review, I include myself in that category, though I try to review if I like it) and I don't know how I would respond to a flame.... I would probably use it to toast marshmellow or burn my homework......*_back to rambling that no one cares about...*_

Anyhoo review if you feel like it. :)


End file.
